wrongously这个词很喜感，读到的时候我一个人傻笑了很久。
当然你可以批评我学英语就该好好学，多背诵一些常用的词汇，最起码应该在不带字幕的情况下看懂南方公园，老是去关注这些拿英文当母语的人都看不懂的怪词是要闹哪样。
那我只好红着脸说：不为无聊之事，何以度有涯之生…
红玫瑰今天回新大陆过节去了，我们互发短信告别。我想这便是最后的告别了罢——还是有一点伤感的。不是为了玫瑰们的离开，而是这开了两个月的过山车终于到达终点，是时候过一个安详平和的圣诞节了，轻松却难免怅然若失。
这两个月中，我常常反省自己的所做所为，样样都是wrongously，居然还能乐在其中，足以证明我是一个盲目乐观的人。前几天和朋友出去喝酒的时候，我跟她倾诉了自己的反省。我说，我是一个软弱的人。性格温和。逆来顺受。以为经过多年的教育和自我教育，我已经变得独立、自由、强大而皮实了，但那些都是表象。在这个灰暗而孤独的冬天，我意识到自己甚至连一个普通人的正常水平都没有达到，是一个彻头彻尾的银样镴枪头。朋友震撼地说：靠，居然有人对自己的评价这么低。
也许我不仅银样蜡枪头，而且还很迟钝。反正我没觉得这个评价很低。冬天如此冷酷，意识到自己的软弱反倒让人觉得轻松而释然。就像老子在道德经里说到的水，柔弱就是柔弱，不能硬把自己冻成冰去装石头。只有接受自己是水才能“无尤”。更何况我连无尤都不追求，成天只想去坐过山车。
有一篇文章是朗西埃写的，讲包法利夫人为什么一定得死。最后给归结到“健康的精神分裂”上来。他是这么解释的：
Hysteria is a clinical term that underwent a radical shift during the second half of the nineteenth century, as what was considered an organic feminine disease became a psychic disease common to both sexes. But the history of that shift was not only a matter of medical science. Before becoming the name of a peculiar psychic disease in psychoanalysis, the name hysteria was circulated between science and literature, science and opinion, opinion and literature. It was circulated as a general notion designating the way in which bodies suffer from a pain that has no organic cause but is provoked by an “excess” of thought. As such, the word hysteria became an approximate synonym for the “excitement” caused by the excessive availability of words, thoughts, and images that was supposed to be inherent to modern life. Scientists would give a precise clinical signification to that vague notion, but literature purported to be itself a kind of clinical science. It proposed a coherent idea of that which caused hysteria, the solidification of the fleeting impersonal configurations of sensations into qualities of subjects and objects of desire and possession. And it proposed its own cure for the disease. It contended that the true sense of life—literary health—could be gained by splintering those solid qualities and returning them to the identity of particles whipped by the impersonal flood. In that sense “literary health” stands close to another, opposed, disease, which is called schizophrenia. In the literary cure, the writer plays the part of the healthy schizophrenic. He unbinds the deadly connection of an apparition on a beach from the idea of individuality and the dream of love. He allows the patch of color to glide on the line that makes it become a flock of gulls, an assembly of Greek statues, or a bower of Pennsylvania roses. This is what his schizophrenia means.
所以最后朗西埃的结论是：精神分裂者包法利夫人必须得死。但是健康的精神分裂者，伍尔芙的《海浪》里那个罗达也死了。朗西埃没有提到的是，甚至伍尔芙自己，当不下去健康的精神分裂者的伟大作者，也死了。
人固有一死。包法利夫人会死，福楼拜也会死，朗西埃也会死。我介于精神分裂和健康的精神分裂之间，徘徊不定，当然必死无疑。想清楚了这件事，就象意识到自己的软弱，让人觉得轻松而释然。
Cheers!
